So I wrote this song......?

up on the story's balcony

a thousand from before

there sang a choir dressed in black

with hair that reached the floor.

the people sat below and cried

too loud to see themselves.

the martyrs splashed into the sea

the rest sat upon a shelf.

when the choir died so tragically

no more golden hair to climb

the crowd of people folded over

the frailties in their minds

when sifted through denial

and eyes newly opened wide

the people fell upon their knees

and to those horses cried,

for so many years we dressed in black

pale faces all alike.

what to expect from, the years now to come

now that we've been left behind?

now that we're left behind?

I don't have a religion, but I like the idea of "judgement day", it fascinates me. I have this fear of being left behind because I'm too distrsting and disbelieving to really believe in God.

Try to see if you can find a melody that fits it, since I obviously can't show you mine. Mine is folky, I can tell you that much. Think, Bright Eyes, Bob Dylan.

So I wrote this song......?

I read it four times now, and the message is somewhat foggy for me. The rhythm is meaningful and strong and carries conviction, even if the interpretation's somewhat hidden. But I'm sensing this blind religious deception being unmasked and leading toward an eternal sort of damnation. The choir in black and faces pale sound like a false religious system missing the truth and woefully awakening at a time too late. Sounds slightly like the Book of Revelation in the Bible which in fact outlines a true Judgment Day that is divinely scheduled.

So I wrote this song......?

You are a poet! Keep writing.

So I wrote this song......?

its good!! kool u should listen to avenged sevenfold they have songs like that try listning to the wicked end its a good song

So I wrote this song......?

I like it, and I'm about as far from godee as it gets... It is hard to tell without a melody though... Good luck. Let me know if you get more done? Great job (stuff like this really impresses me, due to the fact that i have no artistic talent)